Well, Thanksgiving has finally arrived! And you know what? I think it’s a perfect time to reflect on some things. I’ll admit that there have been times when I’ve been so caught up in a whirlwind of anxiety that I didn’t truly stop to think about my life and all the good things that have happened to me. Yes, I do think about some of the not-so-positive moments (losing loved ones, having a panic attack back in 2013 in which I felt like there was a giant lump in my throat? Yeeeeaaahhh, not fun), but what’s the point in dwelling on it? There is no point in sitting in a corner and swimming through an ocean of negativity. Trust me, I probably would have drowned in negativity a few years ago. It was all I thought about.
But the great thing is that changing is possible and WOW have a done a lot of it. Now negative thoughts are just a passing thing, rather than something I think about 24/7. These days, I think a lot about the positive things that have happened and the amazing things that my future holds for me. *claps hands* Oh, the possibilities!
First of all, I graduated this year! I have an actual college degree! It may have taken me six years, but I did it! I was smiling the entire time I was at the ceremony because I was so happy and excited.
Next, I’m getting my drivers license soon! I tried when I was sixteen, but I only got my permit. Truthfully, I wasn’t confident enough to be behind the wheel on my own back then. But now I feel so much more comfortable with it and I actually love driving! I took a bit more time than I expected, but oh well! Better late than never, am I right?
Then there’s my new motivation to actually get in shape and lose some of the weight I gained through college. Freshman fifteen? Yeah, I think I gained more than the Freshman Fifteen. So I now have an awesome exercise bike that I’ve been using and I am eager to see the results as they begin showing! (My knees and hips hurt after the first day, but I realized today that the seat simply needed adjusting. I used my bike two times today and I feel GREAT!)
And that’s just what’s happening lately! But what about the future? Well, I definitely look forward to getting a job. Just gotta look around and see what’s available. I look forward to meeting new people too. (I used to be a huge introvert, but not as much now. Okay, maybe a little, but not AS much as I used to be). I just look forward to having some amazing experiences and becoming the person that I am meant to be.
Now, I want to get a little sentimental with the help of, you guessed it, poetry! As I’ve mentioned in previous entries, I lost my grandfather this year after a long battle with COPD. I also lost my mother back in 2004. This poem is for them.
You were young
You had years ahead
You were full of life
Until it was suddenly taken
I only got eleven years
But those eleven years
meant so very much
The late night talks
The weekend outings
The movie nights
The I Love You’s
That were always unconditional
The ups and downs
The tears and the loneliness
You faced so much
It never stopped you
From loving me
From caring for me
As a mother should do
And when you suddenly had to leave
So very soon
Tears were shed
I had no idea what would be ahead
But through the grief and the heartbreak and the sorrow
He was there
The man who raised you
Would now raise me
Stricken by your departure
I know his heart was broken
But that didn’t stop him
From loving me
From caring for me
Like a grandfather should do
He was not perfect
He had his moments
That could leave one feeling frustrated
But he was always there
His love and support was neverending
Even as his health began to falter
The strength of his love was never altered
And now he has reunited with you
In heaven above
And what remains is love
From you both
Your physical beings may be gone
But two beautiful spirits live on
And as much as I miss you both every single day
I know that with God above
I will find my way
Just a little message to my beautiful mom in Heaven, letting her know that my wonderful grandfather and my grandmother have taken good care of me and I am doing okay ❤
Happy Thanksgiving, everyone! Have a wonderful day, spend time with your loved ones, eat some delicious food, and give many thanks!